Cliché: A SVU Parody
by Leelee5
Summary: Elliot has adopted his sixth runaway while Olivia is continually daydreaming about an office romance...sounds like and SVU (and fanfiction) parody.


The day had been a long one for Detective Olivia Benson. Finally, after filing away all her paperwork for the day, she took out the picture …

Theirs was a forbidden love, a hopeless love made more hopeless by the fact that they worked together. She stroked the picture lovingly and imagined the two of them together.

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of her partner, Detective Elliot Stabler thumping down in his seat. Olivia quickly put away her picture and tried not to look guilty.

"What's wrong, El?" Olivia asked, noting the pained expression on her partner's face.

Elliot sighed. "I adopted another runaway today."

"Elliot! What'll Kathy say? You've already taken in 3 other homeless, tragic, yet incredibly enigmatic girls this week."

"I know, I know. I just can't seem to stop myself. I just want to protect them all, you know?"

Olivia stared. "No, I don't know. The only urges I ever get are to date my coworkers." Olivia noticed the confused look on Elliot's face and amended: "Just kidding."

Olivia daydreamed more about her forbidden love on her way home, all while dodging stalkers and other perverts. They seemed to follow Olivia wherever she went. She never worried though; she knew Elliot was probably trailing her since he seemed to be fiercely protective of every woman he met. Except his wife and kids, strangely enough.

However, Olivia was wrong, Elliot was stuck at the station, interviewing yet another beautiful sixteen year old runaway. He was already mentally rearranging the house so that he could fit in this girl too. Cragen and Fin noted Elliot's compassionate simper towards the girl and left. They never really had a big role in fan fiction, so they decided to leave this story too. Munch stuck around for some wisecracking though.

Elliot walked home alone that night. His runaway had disappeared due to her author getting banned from for bad grammar and poor spelling. He heaved a sigh of relief; Kathy would have killed him if he brought home another girl.

He turned his thoughts to Olivia. He had noticed her fondling the photograph at her desk earlier. She had been doing this a lot lately. He dared hoped that it could be him she dreamed of. He knew that he loved her, but his firm dedication to the Catholic religion held him to his marriage.

With his third sigh in this story, he walked through the front door. It was oddly quiet tonight, no flirtatious glances from the runaways, no crying, no nothing. However, there was a note just screaming to be read on the table. Elliot could never resist a scream.

_"Elliot, I'm leaving you. I took the kids with me. And the runaways too."_

_-Kathy (your now ex-wife)_

The next day at work Olivia was back at her desk, ignoring her police duties in favor of her forbidden office fantasies. Elliot again entered looking tired, but strangely happy.

"What's going on today, El? Did you adopt another victim without first taking her to the hospital, notifying her parents, and violating ethical police practices by being alone with her?" Olivia asked casually.

"No, not today. Liv, Kathy left me last night."

A sad look passed over Olivia's face. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay? I mean…of course not, but is there anything I can do?"

Elliot saw his opening. "Olivia, I love you. Now that Kathy's gone with the kids and runaways, we can be together. And, it's real Olivia, it's canon, she really left. Some fan fiction writer didn't contrive her leaving! I never thought this could happen, but it did!"

Elliot continued: "Olivia, we can be together now, I know you love me too, since you always molest that picture at work. I love you too. Let's get married."

"Um, Elliot, this picture isn't of you…it's of Alex. I love her. I'm so sorry, but I turned out to be gay even though I've always dated males. You understand how it is?" Olivia couldn't stand the look on Elliot's face anymore. "El, I'm sorry, but I have to go. My long-lost sister just got into town and I have to work with her on an SVU case even though she has no police experience. I think she'll just have a knack for it." Olivia sped out of the office.

Poor Elliot would have been left in the lurch if not for the new, young hotshot ADA that strolled through the door at that moment to take his mind of his pain.

THE END


End file.
